


The Case of the Missing Hair Drier and the Goalie Who Tried to Fake Sick

by sassy_Tuukka_Time_Tantrum



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Boston Bruins, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 06:55:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5699137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassy_Tuukka_Time_Tantrum/pseuds/sassy_Tuukka_Time_Tantrum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Still upset about the result of the Winter Classic, Tuukka decides to try and fake sick to get out of playing in the game against the Washington Capitals.  But things don't quite go his way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Case of the Missing Hair Drier and the Goalie Who Tried to Fake Sick

Tuukka sighed as he got to the TD Garden for their game against the Capitals.

He was still in a pretty sour mood from the Winter Classic and wasn't quite looking forward to having to play a team that had shut them out in three out of the last four meetings. He knew that he was going to get the start in net but he really didn't want to.

He entered the shower room to change and that's when he saw it. The hair driers. And that was when he had an idea. He made sure no one was around and he snatched one of the hair driers and went to an area of their elaborate locker room where no one really went.

He put the hair drier on a low heat setting and he warmed his cheeks and forehead with it. He was careful to make sure that his face was just warm enough for the coaches to suspect a mild fever. 

When he was pleased with his results he headed back to the shower room to return the drier when he overheard two of their equipment managers discussing the missing hair drier. He didn't want to get caught this early into his plan so he made a dash for his locker stall and stashed the hair drier under the seat, just as the door opened. He quickly sat down and tried to look as miserable as possible.

"What's wrong Tuukka?" Claude asked as he and their goaltending coach walked up to him.

"I don't know..." Tuukka muttered, "But I'm really not feeling that great..."

"You look a little flushed," Claude said as he placed his hand to Tuukka's forehead, "You feel a little warm as well. Are you feeling okay to play?" 

"I'm not sure yet," Tuukka said.

"Stretch out a little bit and see how you feel," Claude said, "I'll tell someone to put some Tylenol in your stall. Try to let me know as soon as possible about whether you can go tonight or not."

Tuukka nodded. His plan was working beautifully. 

\--

A little while later the equipment manager placed a few different fever reducers in Tuukka's stall. He had been told that the netminder wasn’t feeling well but no one seemed to know where he had disappeared to. Which he thought to be a little odd as Tuukka seemed to be almost omnipresent in the locker room before a game. As he walked away he tripped on something. He looked down and found there was an electrical cord sticking out from under the bench in Tuukka’s locker stall. His curiosity got the better of him and he discovered the missing hair drier.

"Why would Tuukka have the missing hair drier...?" He thought. Then it clicked. And he went to go find one of the coaches.

\--

He found Bob talking to Jonas Gustavsson in the weight room.

"Bob, could I talk to you for a bit?"

"Sure what is it?"

"Tuukka was complaining of a fever earlier wasn't he?"

"Yeah," Bob responded, "He looked pretty miserable too."

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, I found the missing hair drier."

"What does that have anything to do with Tuukka not feeling well?"

"I found it under the bench in his locker stall."

"Why would Tuukka have the hair drier under his....OH!" Bob exclaimed as he put the two together, "Thank you for bringing that to my attention. He and I are going to have a little chat."

"Good luck with that. No one I talked to seemed to know where Tuukka ran off to." 

"I think I know where he is." Bob responded. 

\--

Bob found Tuukka in his usual hiding spot.

"How are you feeling?"

"Still pretty awful," Tuukka said, "I don't think I'll be able to play tonight."

"Maybe you should go have Don take your temperature then," Bob said, "Toronto's going to need an actual temperature reading in order to approve our emergency goalie request."

"Can't I just sit as backup?" Tuukka asked, "I don't think an emergency goalie request is necessary."

"Tuukka, if you're feeling as sick as you say you are, I think it would be best for you to take a night off and rest. We have a road trip coming up."

Tuukka just sat there in silence he was not liking where this conversation was going and he heard Bob sigh.

"Tuukka, we found a hair drier in your stall." He said. “You're not really sick are you?”

Tuukka shook his head. They had figured him out and there was no talking his way out of this one.

"Go get yourself ready for the game. You're starting in goal tonight."

"My neck is still bothering me." Tuukka tried to argue.

"Now Tuukka!" Bob exclaimed, "The team doctor already ruled that it's just a minor bruise and there’s almost no risk of exacerbating it." He sighed, "What’s wrong Tuukka, this isn’t like you at all.”

“I guess I’m still a little upset about the Winter Classic.” Tuukka muttered. 

“You have every right to be upset about that,” Bob said as he sat down next to Tuukka, “But that was a few days ago. It’s time to move on. Just go out there and give us every chance to gt back on track.”

"We're only gonna get shutout tonight." Tuukka muttered, "So why bother."

Bob sighed, "Stop that." He said, "You don't know that. We've all been in that spot before. But just go out there and play your game. Give your team the chance to win like you always do. And maybe I won't tell Claude about this."

Tuukka nodded.

"However, you and I will be doing some, let's just say, extra work during one of our upcoming practices. You might want to arrange for a ride to and from practice that day. Now get your equipment on. I'll tell Claude that you're feeling well enough to play."

\--

Claude watched as Tuukka went to the wrong end of the ice for the start of the second period. He turned to Jonas Gustavsson on the bench, “Gus are you going to be okay to go in?” He asked, “Bob said that Tuukka’s okay but I don’t know.” 

“I have a message from Bob,” One of the assistant coaches said, “He said that Tuukka’s fine. And to tell him that he knows why he’s going to play the full game.”

Tuukka slowly skated by the bench as he put his glove to his head.

"Bob said you know why you're going to play the full game." Claude called.

Tuukka immediately dropped his glove hand to his side and started skating faster. Leave Claude to wonder what was going on with his starting goaltender. 

\--

During the second intermission Bob walked up to Tuukka, “You’re a little shit,” he said, “Trying to pull a fast one like that.” 

"It was an accident." Tuukka said, “I guess I wasn’t thinking.”

"And your little acting stint there?" Bob asked, “You know when you slowly skated by the bench and held your head? What was that?”

Tuukka sighed and sat in silence. 

"You might want to arrange for a ride for two of our practices this week." Bob said, “I don’t think one session will do it.”

"Fuck."

"Hey you're the one who decided to concentrate more on acting than goaltending today."

\--

About half an hour after the Bruins last home practice before a five game road trip ended Bob led a barely conscious Tuukka into the little lounge area of their practice facility.

“What happened!?” David Pastrnak exclaimed as Bob gently eased Tuukka down on one of the couches.

“Is he okay?” Joonas Kemppainen asked.

“He’ll be fine,” Bob responded as he placed a cold compress to Tuukka’s forehead, “He knows what he did and hopefully he learned his lesson.” 

Patrice Bergeron sighed. He knew that it would be a while before Tuukka felt well enough to head home so he decided to make himself comfortable.  
\--

About half an hour later, Tuukka propped himself up a bit.

“What did you do this time?” Patrice asked.

“I tried to fake sick to get out of playing in the game against the Caps.” Tuukka responded. 

Patrice sighed but he knew better than to bring that up with Tuukka. The goaltender had reacted pretty violently after that mess of a game and Patrice knew that it was best to not bring it up again, “Are you starting to feel better?” 

“Yeah,” Tuukka said as he sat up, “I’ll go get changed.”

“Just what does Goalie Bob have you do?” Patrice asked as Tuukka stood up and whined that his legs felt like jelly. 

“Goalie Stuff.” Tuukka responded, “Then laps, a lot of laps. God I hate laps. It'd be one thing if he let me take my gear off first but nope. He makes me skate laps in all my equipment until I almost pass out.”

“From the sound of it, you brought that upon yourself,” Patrice said, “Hurry up, I’m starving.”

“Me too,” Tuukka said, “You wanna do lunch?”

“Sure,” Patrice said, “But you’re buying. Payback for making me wait around for an hour.”

**Author's Note:**

> One of the Bruins Boston Globe writers tweeted that Tuukka did in fact go to the wrong crease to start the second period of the Bruins/Caps game.


End file.
